


5 Times People Thought Harley And Peter Hated Each Other

by impravidus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bisexual Peter Parker, Boys Kissing, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Harley Keener, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Neck Kissing, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Secret Relationship, Teen Romance, sort of not really haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impravidus/pseuds/impravidus
Summary: and the 1 time they realized they didn't
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Comments: 45
Kudos: 901
Collections: Parkner Secret Relationship Collection





	1. what everyone else saw

1

“God, Keener, you reek. Ever heard of a shower?” Peter asked.

“I have. You’d like to join me?” Harley responded with a quirked lip.

Peter groaned. “You’re insufferable.”

“Can you pass me the soderer?” Harley asked, still lying flat on his back to assess the damage to the boots of his suit.

“Get it yourself. You’ve got legs,” Peter said monotonously, not looking up from his beaker of web solution.

“I don’t know where you left it,” Harley said.

“Then I guess you’re gonna have to find it,” Peter stated.

Tony eyed the two teens with a frown. When he had introduced Harley and Peter the previous summer, he had thought the two would hit it off like a house on fire, but instead, they had been nothing but at each other’s throats. Months together, and they still hated each other’s guts. 

“How about we stop to get some food? Just the three of us?” Tony proposed, hoping that he could squeeze in some sort of casual bonding.

“I think I’m gonna get cleaned up. I’ll grab something later,” Harley said.

“Yeah, I’ve got some homework to finish up. I’ll bring something to my room,” Peter said.

Before Tony could rebut, the two were rushing out of the lab.

_ Maybe next time. _

2

MJ eyed Harley’s neck. “Had a long night with a leech?”

Harley’s hand trailing along the bruised skin on his neck and smirked. “Just had a little fun.”

Peter stabbed his pasta with his plastic fork. “Ugh. Spare us the details, Keener. We do  _ not  _ need to know the grueling details of your nightly endeavors.”

Harley raised an eyebrow. “You sure you don’t want to hear about it? I mean, there were hours of details to spare…”

Peter groaned. “Gag me.”

“That can be arranged,” Harley said with a cocky grin.

“Please do not make Peter your next sexual escapade,” MJ said monotonously, not looking up from her book.

Harley’s grin grew even wider. “Wouldn’t that be a sight to see? Peter Parker and me?” He leaned in. “How’s it sound, Parker? You on your hands and knees for me?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He scoffed. “As if  _ I’d _ be the one begging for you and your…”

“No need to be so graphic, boys,” MJ interrupted.

Peter’s face flushed. “Sorry, MJ.”

“Just don’t want to be in the middle of your testosterone battle of toxic masculinity,” MJ said with a shrug.

3

Ned swung his legs on the bench outside of the school. Even though he was eighteen, he still didn’t have a car, so he was waiting for his mom to pick him up. He frowned, thinking back over today’s practice.

Harley had whispered something to Peter that had set him off and sent him rushing out of the door. Harley followed soon after, and they weren’t seen since.

But practice was over, so Ned figured they had gone home. That was until he heard a yelp from around the corner that was oh too familiar after hours spent connected to Peter’s comms on Iron Lad-less nights.

That was Peter. And he was in trouble.

Now, Ned was no Peter. He was no Spider-Man.  _ But, _ he did have pepper spray and a good… okay....average… semi below average but good enough to maybe hit his target aim. 

Terrified of what force was so strong that it was debilitating Peter, he hopped around the corner, and barked out a “freeze!”

What he wasn’t expecting to see was Harley Keener pinning Peter to the wall, Peter, pushing Harley’s chest and legs shaking.

“What’s going on here?” Ned demanded. 

“I… uh… we were…”

“Did you hurt him?” Ned questioned Harley.

Before Harley could shut down the thought, Peter cut him off.

“It’s just friendly roughhousing, Ned. Don’t worry about it.”

Ned noticed the bruise on Harley’s jaw. His eyes squinted in disbelief. “Are you sure you’re…”

“We’re fine. This is between me and Harley.”

Ned nodded. “You’re on thin ice, Keener. I like you, but I don’t have to.” Ned backed away, noticing his mother’s minivan parked in front of the school. He turned around once more to give the toughest look at Harley before jogging to the car.

4

“What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

Peter crossed his arms. “Get off my back, Keener. It worked, didn’t it?”

“Yes, after you nearly got fucking decapitated. You can’t just— Jesus Christ, Peter, you can’t be so self-sacrificial.”

“It got the job done. I’m fine. It’s over. Drop it.”

Harley took a step forward, poking him in the chest. “No. I’m not going to drop it. You are reckless and selfish.”

Peter laughed humorlessly. “Oh, I’m selfish?”

The other Avengers frowned as they watched the two teens argue.

“Should we break this up?” Steve asked tentatively.

Tony shook his head. “They’ll tire themselves out. They’re like this after every fight. Just let them settle it themselves.”

Sam shook his head. “Can’t believe those two patrol together every night.”

Rhodey nodded. “They can’t even stand to be in the same room without throwing at least one insult.”

“Oh, and you’re so full of it, aren’t you? It’s always about you you you.” Peter spat at Harley. “You come in here, not even a year’s worth of experience, and think that you can take on everything. Well guess what? You can’t!”

“Oh, you’re really pulling that card again?” He rolled his eyes. “‘I’m Peter, and I’ve been fighting crime since I was thirteen.’”

“Yes. I am pulling that card. You can’t just expect to take on the big bads right off the bat.”

“I’m ready! Why can’t you see that?” Harley yelled, arms wide.

“You’re not ready!” Peter responded, voice raising even higher.

“When will I be, Peter? When will I be ready for you?” Harley asked, exasperated.

Peter stepped closer and muttered something that the rest of the team couldn’t hear, hand moving as he made his point.

Harley’s face softened.

“I think he’s apologizing,” Bucky said.

“Which one?” Natasha asked.

“Both of ‘em,” Steve replied.

Peter bobbed his head to the right, motioning for him to follow him back to the tower.

“See?” Tony said. “They always figure it out.”   
  


5

After a win at academic decathlon nationals held at Virginia Beach, the team congregated to the sandy shores for a celebratory sunbathing and swim.

MJ, in a long sleeve shirt and jeans, sat in a beach chair, nose deep in a book on the corrupt meat packing industry. Ned and Betty were giggling and gossiping as they shared a plate of nachos and a berry smoothie. Flash and Brad were flirting with the lounging beach goers (though Brad had much more luck). And the rest of the team, less Harley, was playing an intense game of volleyball while Mr. Harrington and Mr. Dell kept a close eye.

“C’mon, Parker. The water’s real nice,” Harley called as he waded.

Peter shook his head. “No thanks.”

“You just gonna hide under that umbrella all day? You could really use the sun. I mean, your pasty skin is blinding.”

“I’m not going in,” Peter said firmly.

Harley shrugged. “Alright. Fine. You’re not gonna go in yourself.” He squatted next to the teen who reclined on the rubber ducky towel. “Then I’m gonna make you.” Harley scooped Peter up from the towel, who attempted to wriggle from his grasp to not avail. Harley continued to flutter his fingers in Peter’s most ticklish spots to keep him from gaining enough strength to fight back.

“Harley! C’mon! I’m still wearing my shirt!”

Harley didn’t respond, instead, with a swift swing, he tossed Peter into the ocean with a splash.

Peter pouted, damp curls falling in his face, body shivering from the chilly waters. “You’re an ass.”

Harley smiled. “The water’s just right, innit?”

The AcaDec team stared at the two, Betty nearly ready to jump up and tell of Harley herself.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Peter said, glaring at Harley. He peeled off his soaked shirt and wrung out the fabric into the ocean. As he went to walk back to his towel, a rough wave hit him in the back, sending him toppling onto Harley, his shirt slipping from his hand and disappearing into the ocean. “No!” he whined.

Harley pulled Peter up, the smaller teen thumping into his chest at the motion.

“My shirt has been eaten by the sea and it’s your fault.”

“I bought a sweatshirt at the gift shop. It’s all yours until we get back to the hotel,” Harley said earnestly. 

Peter covered his bare stomach self consciously. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Harley said.

+1

All of Peter’s friends gathered in his apartment, hurrying to set up the decorations before Peter got back home. The GPS in his phone showed that he was one his way, and May had only just gotten there with a heap of food from the caterers.

It was Peter’s eighteenth birthday, and Ned had put together a fantastic surprise party for him. With cake from Peter’s favorite bakery, cheesy decorations that Peter found endearing, and even recruiting Tony Stark to bring a little extra joy to the teen, the AcaDec team huddled in the dark, awaiting Peter’s arrival.

Tony shushed the whispering teens as he saw the handle of the door jiggle.

The door slammed shut and a hard thump.

May flipped the lights on, and everyone shouted out an excited “surprise” but went silent as they saw the sight before them.

Harley Keener’s fingers were threaded through Peter’s hair, lips hungrily pressed to the smaller teens, Peter’s fingers busy with unbuttoning Harley’s flannel.

The two teens froze and quickly pushed away from each other.

Peter gave an awkward chuckle and small wave. “Uh, hey everybody.”

“What the f —”   



	2. what really happened

1

Peter was distracted. How could he not be? Harley was very distracting.

He was wearing a tight, white tank top, the fabric damp and sticking to his torso as he worked maintenance on his suit, the oil caking his face, and bringing out the blue of his eyes.

And hot damn, he was wearing those sweatpants that hug his ass when he squats, and oh God he’s staring again,  _ don’t stare at Harley’s ass when Mr. Stark is in the room. _

Harley pushed his hair out of his eyes, his blonde hair streaked with oil, and  _ oh God he’s hot with dark hair,  _ and Peter sucked in a breath. He wasn’t going to survive if he saw that sweat soaked shirt cling to his toned torso for another second. He needed Harley in a modest t-shirt like yesterday. No, not a t-shirt, because then he’d still be tempted by his muscles. A baggy sweater. That’s what he needed.

“God, Keener, you reek. Ever heard of a shower?” Peter asked, hoping he would leave before he made a fool of himself as he gawked at his boyfriend.

“I have. You’d like to join me?”

Peter’s face flushed, which he hid with his back turned to Mr. Stark and Harley. “You’re insufferable.”

“Can you pass me the soderer?” Harley asked, standing up and stretching, his bare stomach peaking out from the hem of his shirt.

Peter spun around quickly. “Get it yourself. You’ve got legs.” In all honesty, Peter didn’t know if he would be able to control himself if he got any closer than completely across the lab from Harley to hand him the soderer, which he knew was closer to Harley than him.

Let’s just say that when the two called it a night, Peter took no time ripping that shirt off of Harley and tugging his fingers through his oil caked hair.

2

As Peter and Harley walked to throw away their trash, Harley closed in behind Peter, pressed close to his back, lips grazing his ear. Peter shuddered at the shiver running down his spine. 

“Risky leaving evidence, darlin’.”

Peter, not turning around, grinned. “Are you saying you want me to stop?”

Harley shook his head. “No. No, I don’t.”

The two strolled slowly back to the table. 

“I’m seeing you’re trying to make me break, make me stutter and stammer by teasing me, but I think we both know who’s on their hands and knees begging for more,” Peter taunted, leaning closer. “And it’s definitely not me.”

Harley’s face went hot, and he stumbled back to his seat, eyes glued to Peter, who bit his lip bashfully. Peter may seem innocent, but he sure knew how to push Harley’s buttons, and boy did he do it well. 

Harley let out a shaky breath.  _ He is going to be the death of me.  _

3

When Harley had whispered filthy promises in Peter’s ear after MJ ended practice, Peter had to bolt out of the room immediately to settle himself, ignoring the worried stares of his peers. Leaning his back against the brick of his school’s exterior, he took in sharp breaths of the cool April air.

He shut his eyes, focusing on the scratchy feeling of the brick’s texture and the grass crunching beneath his Converse. 

Suddenly, there was hot breath on his neck, and chapped lips on his skin.

“Harley…” he breathed out.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He kissed up his neck, nipping at his earlobe and colliding his lips to his. 

Peter hummed in delight, sliding his hand in Harley’s back pocket and squeezing. Harley grinned in the kiss.

Peter flipped the two around so he was pressing his torso to Harley’s, his back digging into the brick. Peter sucked at Harley’s jaw, which had gone slack at the sensation.

With a blooming confidence, Harley turned them around again, his hands on Peter’s shoulders as he pushed him against the wall. Peter yelped in surprise, but went to deepen the kiss, when he perked up at the sound of footsteps, placing his hands on Harley’s chest and pushing him away.

What Ned didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, though, what he thought he knew might end up with him hurting Harley if they weren’t more careful.

4

Peter laughed humorlessly. “Oh, I’m selfish?”

“Yes!” Harley exclaimed. “You are selfish. You are so selfish because you can’t get it through your thick fucking skull that maybe,  _ maybe,  _ your life is actually worth something. I mean, shit. Do you not think about how it would affect the team? How it would affect me?”

“Oh, and you’re so full of it, aren’t you? It’s always about you you you.” Peter spat at Harley. “You come in here, not even a year’s worth of experience, and think that you can take on everything. Well guess what? You can’t!”

“Oh, you’re really pulling that card again? ‘I’m Peter, and I’ve been fighting crime since I was thirteen.’”

“Yes. I am pulling that card. You can’t just expect to take on the big bads right off the bat.”

“I’m ready! Why can’t you see that?” Harley yelled, arms wide.

“You’re not ready!” Peter responded, voice raising even higher.

“When will I be, Peter? When will I be ready for you?” Harley asked, exasperated.

Peter took a step forward, Harley going rigid at the intrusion of space. “Never.” He licked his dry lips that wobbled slightly as he tried to find the words that would make Harley understand. “I can’t lose you.”

Harley softened. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

“I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was the one who let you go out too early. That I didn’t train you enough or didn’t protect you. It’s not that you’re not ready, Harley. It’s that  _ I’m  _ not ready.”

Harley sighed. “How do you think I feel? I’m fucking terrified every time you throw yourself into danger to save me. If you… if I lost you, and it was because you thought my life was worth yours? How could I… I couldn’t, Peter. I can’t lose you either.”

“I love you,” Peter said softly.

“I love you too,” Harley replied with a gentle smile.

Peter tilted his head, motioning to the tower. “Let’s go get checked up so we can go to my quarters and eat kettle corn and cuddle.”

Harley smiled. “Let’s go do that.”

5

While Ned was still in the lobby, Harley and Peter had the hotel room to themselves. (The three had gotten lucky with a three person room, and Peter and Harley “begrudgingly” agreed to share a bed since Ned was a starfish in his sleep.)

As soon as they heard the click of the door close, Peter’s lips were on Harley’s, the blonde teen’s back pressed against the door.

He chuckled in the kiss, slinking his arm around Peter’s waist and pulling him closer.

“You looked so good out there. Seeing you, glistening from the ocean water. Feeling you on top of me? You make me lose my mind.” He tugged at Peter’s curls earning a gasp from the smaller teen. “Didn’t like everyone looking at you. Gawking at you, not knowing you’re taken. Oh, I just wanted to show them right there and then that you’re all mine.”

Peter trailed kisses down Harley’s neck and bare chest, the intoxicating taste of his skin laced with the remnants of the salty sea.

“Oh, Peter,” Harley sighed. With a shaky hand, he pushed Peter away who let out a high whine at the separation. “You can’t leave anything, okay, darlin’? We don’t got a good alibi for this one.”

“Okay,” Peter agreed.

“Does that mean you’re not gonna leave any marks?”

Peter hesitated. “Yes?”

“Peter.”

“I won’t leave marks that people can see?” Peter said.

Harley grinned and pulled him back into a kiss, fiddling with the hem of his sweatshirt. “Look so good in my clothes,” he muttered low and rough. “Can’t wait to get you out of ‘em.”

Peter suddenly jerked away, throwing Harley on the bed and tossing a pillow on his lap and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Ned entered the room, a dopey grin on his lips. “Oh, hey Harley. Peter up here?”

“Just about to hop in the shower!” Peter called from the bathroom.

“Oh, hey dude! I brought you a bag of Chex Mix.”

“Thanks!” Peter replied.

Harley, still preoccupied with trying to steady his breathing and rid himself of his excited friend, glared at the wall separating the bathroom with the bedroom. 

Ned plopped onto his bed and flipped on the TV. “Oh! Hotel Transylvania 2 is on!”

Harley collapsed into the heap of pillows and stared at the ceiling.

Ned shoved a handful of Chex Mix in his mouth. “It’d be so cool to turn into a bat.”

+1

Harley stared dreamily at Peter who was balancing a stack of packaged frozen treats in his arms from the ice cream truck.

“...Harley?”

Harley looked over, mind a dizzy blur. “Huh?”

“I said, can you make it?” Ned asked.

Harley furrowed his brows, too embarrassed to question what he was referring to, obviously what he was supposed to be listening to instead of thirsting over his boyfriend. “When is it?” 

“August 10th,” Ned repeated. “Around 5.”

Harley frowned. That was when he was having his birthday dinner with Peter. May said she’d be working late that day, so Harley promised her that he would do something for Peter to keep him busy for the evening. 

“Can’t. Got plans.”

Ned nodded. “Alright.” He was about to continue but Peter jogged over.

“Spongebob for Ned, chocolate crunch for MJ, and ice cream sandwich for Harley,” Peter stated.

“You better not’ve squished my sandwich with your death grip,” Harley teased.

“It is perfectly intact,” Peter reassured.

The ice cream sandwich was sweet, but Peter was sweeter.

August 10th rolled around, and Peter was disappointed. His friends had acknowledged his birthday with a quick “Happy Birthday” in the group chat with “^^^” followed soon after, but not much for the rest of the day.

Peter hadn’t minded, though, because he had a day all to him and Harley. An afternoon viewing of the newest murder mystery film in theatres that was spent with a surprising lack of stolen kisses and a lot more of popcorn munching and slurpee sharing. 

Then they shared an early patrol of the city, racing across the rooftops, something they didn’t have the luxury of doing often.

Finally, they ended their day with reservations at a hole in the wall Korean BBQ restaurant, chowing down to a feast paid for by Peter’s “Feed The Baby Fund” debit card, and a long stroll back to Peter’s apartment, fingers interlocked, Peter’s cold fingers being warmed by Harley’s, his head resting against his shoulder. 

Harley pressed a soft kiss to Peter’s hair and squeezed his hand, before slipping his hand free and sliding it down the small of Peter’s back.

Peter froze, turning to Harley. With a swift pull, Peter tugged Harley into the alley beside his apartment complex, crashing his lips into his, fast and impatient. 

Harley moaned into the kiss, hips grinding into Peter’s, holding his thigh up with a hand and sighing at the friction.

“N-Not here,” Harley stuttered.

The two rushed to the apartment, Peter fumbling to get his key in the hole while Harley trailed kisses down his neck, arms wrapped him from behind.

So really, it wasn’t completely his fault that he didn’t notice the extra breaths in the apartment.

“Surprise!”

Peter, wide eyed and flushed in embarrassment, gave a weak wave. “Uh, hey everybody.”

After surviving the collective demands and confused hysteria of their friends, Harley and Peter were still busy trying to piece together what was going on.

“You said you were working late!” Peter exclaimed at May.

“ _ Surprise  _ party,” she stated.

“You told  _ me  _ you were working late,” Harley said.

“Because you can’t keep a secret from Peter for your life. Plus, we needed him distracted while we set up,” May explained.

Harley buried his face in his hands, cheeks hot. “This cannot be happening.”

“You know, I would say this makes sense, but it really doesn’t,” Ned said.

“Oh, yeah, it does,” MJ said, munching on a chocolate dipped pretzel rod.

Peter looked nervously at the flabbergasted crowd. “So uh, how about that cake?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat, my Tumblr is [official-impravidus](https://official-impravidus.tumblr.com/)


End file.
